Luna Park, is a fabulous amusement park situated on Sydney Harbor at Milson’s Point, with stunning views of the Opera House and Sydney Harbor Bridge. But one of the most notable features of this fantastic place is the “Coney Island - Funny House,” the last of the great “fun houses” of the 1930s. The Funny House features stunning arcade artworks by Art Barton, floor blowers, trick floors, a rotating barrel, a slalom slide, and an arcade packed with antique penny play machines (converted to the gold 1$ coins of today). These machines, dear reader, are the subject of todays photo essay “The Passionate Penny Arcade.”
Place your hand on the inductance plate. A spinning pointer indicates your smooching skills.
The inductance plate has the well worn patina of a holy relic or the blarney stone. How many have been validated or crushed by the relative conductivity of the press of flesh to machine?
The ancient Egyptians clearly had an advanced knowledge of carny electronics. Step up to the apparatus and seize the “love handles” to gauge your SEX APPEAL on a scale of 0 - 10. “WOW - WEE.”
“LOVE HANDLE” and “SEX APPEAL” are not mutually exclusive. Yes, free yourself of body issues dear tumblrs!
The inductance foot treads.
The electric gaze of the all-knowing Milson’s Point pharaoh, ancient forerunner to Ophrah, Dr. Phil and Dr. Ruth.
Not to be outdone by the ancient ones, Australian carnies, clearly in the thrall of television, produced this wonderful con.
- FOR A TRUE READING
- INSERT ONE PENNY IN THE SLOT
- AND STAND IN FRONT OF THE GREEN RAY
- UNTIL THE CARD IS DELIVERED FROM THE POCKET BELOW
- IF YOU FAIL TO CARRY OUT THESES INSTRUCTIONS
- THE READING WILL BE A POOR ONE
The “Green Ray Television Wonder” in action. Imagine the sound of a large electrical transformer humming in concert with an off-balance washing machine… the lights glow and pulsate, and you are delivered a thick, business card sized prognostication, written in elegant script.
Time marches on, and we move from the days of the analog to the digital, with the “urban industries computerized sex tester.” A circuit board graphic divides the genders with a schematic barrier of resistors, capacitors, and integrated circuits.”Insert coin; depress button of your sex.” The last player was “female” and #11 “HARMLESS.” How disappointing. Better to be “MAMA’S BOY; FRIGID; HOT PANTS; SWEET; GALLANT; WILD; NEEDS HELP; CHEATER; ALLURING; ARDENT; or ANGEL.”
When in Sydney, take a CityRail train or harbor ferry to Milson’s Point, disembark and visit the pleasure grounds of Luna Park. If you feel an urge, embark on a humble pilgrimage to the “Passionate Penny Arcade” in the Funny House. You may be distracted by the Bally’s Captain Fantastic and Star Wars pinball machines, but if you are inclined, uncover all of your amorous secrets through these $1 augers.
mr. timothy of dickeyville.
